Yeah, so I called it. My friend didn't come over to watch a scary movie with me last night. It's okay...I didn't have my hopes up anyway so it wasn't too much of a disappointment.

So today is a pretty busy day for me. Have to go on base and get some stuff done for our overseas clearance. Today is the Dental portion...next week is physicals...ugggghhhhhhhhhhh! I hated them in high school. I can't imagine that they have gotten any better since then, though I am much more comfortable with my body now, hopefully that will help a little bit.

I also am having Christmas dinner with Landon at school today. That should make him pretty happy. He gave me a shit load of crap for not going to the Thanksgiving one. That's what I get for assuming he wouldn't care, lol.

I've made it to Thursday...though after all the appointments, I assume I will be going home and sitting on my ass. At least tomorrow is Friday. I have been waiting to have a beer and hang out with a few friends all week!

So it's raining on and off here...but it is in the 70's and I sure as hell can't complain about that.

It's going to be a long day at work today. I am working late for the boss. She has a dinner party to throw tonight and wants to have ample time to get ready for it. So no gym this afternoon for me, though I am sure after all the running and weight lifting, I will need a day off.

I am supposed to be watching a scary movie tonight with a friend but who knows. I can't rely on anyone these days to actually show up, lol. I don't want to watch it alone though. I love scary movies but not all by myself in a dark house.

Well two weeks from now I will be flying out to spend time with my husband in Korea. I can't wait. I miss him so much. I try not to even think about him a lot of the time because it just gets me all sad that he can't be here with me and Landon.

Well I better jump off of here, things to do, people to see...Lunch to eat. I am starving!

Placed over all - 149
Amber Armstrong - Panama City FL
29
F
Age Group - 25-29
Chip Time (official) 34:20
Half-way mark - 16:34
Average Pace - 11:05/M


So I finished my first 5k. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't expect to run it so fast either. I swear it felt like I was running backwards, I was going so slow. I never walked a step. I ran the entire 3.2 miles. It felt so great when I finally finished.

I will be doing a 5k run again in Febuary. This one I will have to drive down to Tampa for. It's during the Gasparilla weekend in Tampa. So I may have to get me a pirate outfit, fo rizzle!!!

There should be more pictures being posted on the website for the run I just did. I want to see if I can find myself in any of them. I found one...I'm in there...can you find me?

So everything went wonderful yesterday at my doctor's appt. They couldn't find a thing. They said I have great boobs and all was well with them. Thank Goodness. Having the boobs manhandled for a bit was interesting, especially when we did the mamogram and they had to put little pasties on my nipples, lol.

So....right now you think I would be soaring sky high...but I'm not. Can you ever feel yourself getting depressed...like it's slowly building in your chest? Not sure what is, probably a little bit of everything.

I don't want to be at work...at my amazing job.
I don't want to talk to people.
I would prefer not to leave the house.
Eating does not sound like something I really want to do.
Chores and Errands are not getting done...I have no motivation at all!

These are all nagging little things in the back of my head...whispering. I am working hard on not listening to them, but they are getting louder. I am working hard at staying on some kind of path that will get me through this...but I think it may involve some kind of breakdown with lots of crying. I am due for one of those, it's been awhile now.

My mom is supposed to come and visit me this weekend. She's supposed to stand at the finish line of my 5K and cheer me on. I don't even want her here. I don't want anyone here. I plan on running my race (not excited about that at the moment) and seriously want to drink the weekend away. Uggggggggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I'm a flippin mess and it's only Wednesday.

Well it's finally here...I only had to wait a week and half. Two weeks ago I had my "ahem" woman's doctor appt. They found a lump in my right breast. Yeah. Awesome, right? It's small and it moves around which they say is good...but I had to be scheduled for a Mammogram (I'm 29) and an ultrasound of the lump/mass. Well today's the big day. Not excited, pretty stressed and nervous, in fact. I don't mind the fact I will be naked from the waist up for most of the day or at least 5 people today are going to touch and look at my boobs. I am just completely freaked about the results.

I don't even like talking about it. I have seriously only told 5 people.

All I know is if it looks even slightly suspicious I will have to go to a specialist off base so I can get some kind of biopsy. That scares me even more.

It's about 30 minutes before I leave. Pray for me.

The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, lol. Loving my little redhead!




I am slowly realizing that I just need to start laughing more at my life in general. I mean if more things could go wrong this last week since my husband left, I may just have to shoot myself in the damn foot. The few things that aren't going wrong are just plain fucking weird. Life is just such a mixed up jumble at the moment and I'm not sure which way is up. I feel like my luck is just slowly running out and I will soon hit some kind of wall. A big bad scary wall.

I will elaborate next week after I find out the ending to this story. I know, I know. So secretive! lol.

Well we got our family photos back. I love them all...and there are two discs full of them. I will post a couple favorites. This was done at Eden State Park...between Destin and Panama City Beach. So pretty there. Enjoy!

This may be my most favorite...maybe, lol.


He's such a cutie!




Reflecting on life


My little boy is getting soooooo big!


Kisses for my love


Smililng for the camera!


I love a million more but these ones make me smile just a pinch bigger when I see them!

I am feeling a little itchy to expand on my Tattoo. I really think that I have some kind of connection with getting a tattoo and painful expierences in my life. I can't think of a tattoo that I have gotten just for the fun of it. It's always in a time in my life where something has or is upsetting me. I assume one of the reasons now is my husband going back to Korea or the fact that I can't speak to one of my really good friends anymore. Could this be some creepy way of cutting myself? Ewww. Not that you cutters are gross...but you get where I am going with this. Who knows...all I do know is that I am moving to England in May and want to make sure that it's all done by the same guy before I leave. I mean, it's his creation and I don't want anyone F-ing it up. Lol. Now...to find some money.

Well I need to be skipping out on work now. I have been putting off doing a run for the last week. I have a 5K I will be running Dec 5th and I am totally not ready for it. I don't want to be one of those people that walk...that would be sad and pathetic. I really want to be proud of myself when I cross that finish line.

I'll write more later!

Well we made it to another weekend. Too bad it's the last weekend I have with my husband on his mid-tour. He heads back to Korea Monday morning, bright and early. It's gonna suck...for a million and one different reasons.

Tonight we are headed out to one of our old haunts, the dawg house. Great little tiki bar on the bayou just up the road from our house. Beautiful view. They even shoot a little canoon on the weekends to start out the evenings, lol. It's 70 Degrees out right now and not a cloud in the sky...should be fun!

Pretty nice, huh? I haven't been there since the hubby left the first time.

So I am contemplating sneaking out of work early. Well not a sneak...but I should stay late since the boss is out of town. It's the last Friday I have with my hubby...so I am not going to let it go to waste. Though I know right now he is home taking a nap, resting up for this weekend. Must be nice. I guess I am a trooper, lol.

I forgot to post pictures of Little Landon and his Halloween costume this year. He was so cute!I got him all dressed up and then I realized that something was missing...Facial hair, lol. So I attacked him with some eyeliner, lol.
He's so big now! These are supposed to be are "Aaaarrrrhh" faces!

Well I am going to go find something to do that will waste away the next hour before I am allowed to leave.

I hope this weekend is fun and un-drama filled. It should be interesting to say the least, very very very interesting...but you don't know that story yet, lol.

He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carrier didn't run out of fuel.

He is the barroom loudmouth whose behavior is outweighed in the cosmic scales by four hours of unparalleled bravery near the 38th Parallel in Korea.

She is the nurse who fought against futility in Da Nang and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years.

He is the POW who left one person and came back another.

He is the drill instructor who has never been in combat, but has saved countless lives by turning no-accounts into Marines.

He is the parade-riding legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.

He is the white-haired guy bagging groceries at the supermarket, aggravatingly slow, who helped liberate a Nazi death camp.

A vet is an ordinary and extraordinary human being — someone who offered his life's vital years in the service of his country.

He is a soldier and a savior and a sword against the darkness, and nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known. We will never be able to repay the debt of gratitude we owe.


—Author Unknown—

Halloween was a blast this year. Probably one of my top three ever, lol. We actually went out Friday night and Saturday night, which means my pricey costume actually got some real use. Warning...we are quite drunk in all of these and can not be held responsible for our actions.

Our little gang at the start of the night. The beer wench and her beers, lol.


Yes, folk. Jesus likes beer and beer wenches


He's alive...barely.


Sadly...this is my Mother-in-law. She can't handle what I drink, lol. I had to delete the others. Yes. That. Bad.


It's a love/love relationship.


Dirty. lol.


Poor Amish guy, that will teach him to go into a bar! Sinner!


Getting a little frisky with Franky

So the hubby is home. It's great! He leaves in a week though :( I can already feel a melt down coming on.

Some shit hit the fan this weekend. Not that I or the husband or the other person involved can even remember it since we were all very very drunk.

I may or may not elaborate. Right now I am beyond pissed about it. Just another joy of people who don't give a shit about you till there is some kind of drama to entertain them enough into being interested in your welfare.

Fuck all the assholes who didn't give me a second glance while my husband was gone and I desperate for a friend. Fuck them for fucking over one of the few that I did have. I hate that there is nothing I can do about it. I hate that I will have to take a big step back from it all and I will be alone again just to keep rumors at bay. FML.

Well this is officially the longest day ever. I've only been awake for 3 hours and it already seems like it's been days. Blarg.

I was so dumb last night. I got invited out to eat with friends that turned into some pool shooting and bullshitting and drinking. Yeah. No bed for me till 2:30am. One of them even convinced me to call him to wake him up at 6am so he wouldn't be late for work. Yeah, so not a lot of sleep for me. It's probably for the best though since my hubby will be completely beat when he gets in. I am sure me bouncing around like a crazy person won't help much. SO if I am a zombie too...well then.

There is a cup of coffee with my name on it. I just have to stand up and get it, which I can't do while typing. One last thing....found this redhead quote today and I liked it:

"Nobody who has known a redhead can say that redheads are tame. Even shy redheads have a burning spark of adventure inside them. Opinionated, hotheaded, logical, loyal, friendly, reserved, whatever the redheads' personality, you can bet they'll have SCADS of it!"
-Review of The Redhead Encyclopedia

So my hubby will be here in a day and a few hours. I can't wait. Like I seeeriously can't wait. Ugghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trying not to rip out my hair. Sad huh? I just chatted with him online and he's leaving for the airport as I type this. Yah!

Also....For my "Live Journal Stalker", we need to figure out this mystery. Okay...I need to figure it out. No more lists of Ex's. So we used to date...did we "Date" as in boyfriend/girlfriend or did we "Date" for a night or two? LOL. I hate not knowing.

So Jason's Aunt died yesterday. That was a suprise for everyone. She just collapsed at a church meeting and never woke up again. She was only 59. We are really going to try to get to NY for the funeral but it's on Thursday morning....so it's going to be quite a push. I wish I was better at this emotional stuff. I wanted to be the comforting one but sadly...I suck at it. Poop.

We meet again!!!

Going out with some friends tonight. We are going down to one of the bars on the beach so now I actually have to go out looking like a girl. This could be interesting for me.

Maybe I should wear the heels I just bought, that way I can attempt to break them in, lol. Let's just say though...I really don't think most heels can be broken in...they either feel good or they don't. The ones I just got felt great in the store. Let's see how that goes after I wear them for a few hours. I think I will be putting an extra pair of flip-flops in my car, lol. Just in case.

Ahhh....down to the last hour at work. This makes me a very happy girl.

Too bad I have to go get an oil change done on the car...boring!

So I got my Halloween costume in the mail last week. I was nervous...but it fits! It fits really well too! The little petticoat that goes under it is adorable and so are the stockings with their little bows. Now I just have to find a pair of shoes. Everyone says Mary Janes are the way to go. I am torn between flats and heels. I don't want to be a whole foot taller than my husband nor do I want to attempt to stumble around a bar in a short skirt and heels on, lol. It could turn out bad for everyone... Then again, flats never make your legs look sexy...


I even got a cute little purse that looks like a big frosty cup of beer. It should make for an interesting Halloween. I wish we could find a place to go and dress up the other night of Halloween weekend. Who knows though, maybe it will work out. I am going to have to wear this dress for a couple of years to make up for the cost.

So my husband comes home in 5 more days. It doesn't even seem possible. Not that time has flown, it hasn't.... I have just got so used to him not being there that I can't even fathom him laying in our bed next to me or being on the couch when I get home or calling me during the day just to say. Ahhhh! It's seriously screwing with my brain to think this is something that I used to have and it's something I will get to enjoy again in under a week. I have just putting it off....better not to think of those things because those things make life just drag by.

Sadly I will probably be drunk this whole weekend even though I should be doing chores and getting the last of the little things done. Alcohol will make the weekend fly. Housework will not.

Ahhhh...it's finally Friday.

The week was easy but Landon goes to Mam-ma's for the weekend and I have been waiting for a month for this weekend. That means I don't have a curfew and I don't have to pay a babysitter. I can just go out, be drunk, have fun and sleep it off in the morning, lol.

I also have a wedding to attend this weekend. I am mostly excited because I will get to wear a dress for a little bit and some heels. I will have to change before the reception. I don't like to mix booze and dresses too often, sooner or later there will be an accident, lol.

This day is dragging though. I need to find some mind numbing task that just takes up every second of this day till 3pm. Blarg.

Well I should get back to work or back to my lack of work to do here. I'm starting to get a headache too...that's never a good thing.

Well I finally bought my halloween costume the other day. I usually make something and it's usually very unusual or funny. I went a different route this year. I wanted to enjoy my new size and I got something sexy. I am nervous as hell about wearing it but at the same time I can't wait! Here's some pictures of my halloween costumes over the years and the last one is my costume for this year.

Pimpy Longstongings....and of course one of my Ho's


Turner and Hoochie - The S&M Police


I was actually the dude cop again...It's was too good of a costume not to wear twice...anyway, I lived in a different state by then, lol.


Wilma Flinstone....Uh, duh. It's actually my second time being her, but different states! lol


And this year??? You got it, a beer wench, oh la la. My hubby is actually going as a beer so it just seemed fitting.



So right now I am not sure what will be more awkward. Me in a dress, me in a short dress, me in heels, the fact that I am already an inch taller than my husband without heels, it will be cold in NY or that I will be in a bar drunk...wearing that thing, lol.

I'm going to go find a treadmill now. Later.

It's so much easier to update if I do it everyday or well...maybe every few days.

Went out on Friday with a few friends. That actually was a lot of fun. What wasn't fun was going to sleep at 7am and getting up at 10am. Ugghhh....Let's just say I took a couple cat naps through out the day and then crashed at 8pm that night and didn't wake up on Sunday till almost noon. Yeah, a little bummish.

I have such a busy week. I have to file all of Landon's Adoption paperwork so I can get a new birth certificate and social security card. When that's done I can get the child support and military stuff out of the way. Now I just have to find a spare moment to get to all these places without missing too much work or other obligations. Ughh...

I have to get back into my running this week. I have been slacking so bad in that area. It was nice to take a break though, and I still lost weight. I have finally made it to 60lbs lost. I just hate looking at my Nike+ account and seeing that it's been weeks since I completed a run. Today will be my first day back on the treadmill or if the weather is nice (doubtful) I will hit up the track. I plan on kicking my ass, which means a two mile run for me at a moderate pace. We'll see how it goes, I'll be suprised if I make it past a mile, lol.

Still can't decide what I want to be for Halloween. I am torn between funny or Slutty, lol. I've lost enough weight that I could actually wear something sexy and get away with it. Just not sure what it is I should be wearing. My old group of NY buddies and I will be visiting our old haunt of Watertown, NY. We are going to attempt an 80's theme. We'll have to see how that goes, lol.

Well I should get off here and back to work. Later.

So I've made a few new friends. Lucky me...they just barely meet my husbands approval. He likes his friends and I like them too but they aren't there for me. My new ones are. I am sure the only reason he approves is because I'm not a huge mess like I was awhile back. Normally I would try to do what I think makes him happy...but I can't and I think even if he asked me not to hang out with them, I still would. Just because they fill a big void that I haven't been able to fill since Jason left.

So yesterday I went and played Ultimate Frisbee with my new friends. It was really fun and really tiring. It's a lot like football with frisbee...except you can't tackle and you can't run with the frisbee once you catch it. I thought I was going to suck because I can't remember the last time I threw or caught one. I did okay. I won't give myself much more than that since I was playing with a bunch of very athletic guys. I did score a goal though!!! Woot! I figure I will keep going back, it's good exercise and I get to hang out with my friends and meet new ones.

I finally found a couple of racket ball partners as well. I had been searching forever for someone that I knew that played. I couldn't find a soul. Then they just fell into my lap. I will be going and playing against Tommy today. I am sure to get my ass whooped. He's one of those athletic boys, though I may squeak out at least one win, lol.

So the weather has been absolutely perfect the last few days here in Florida. It's finally feeling like fall. Nothing better than a sunny day around 75% with a light warm breeze. It kind of makes me upset that I am sitting inside looking at it...but not out in it! Ten more minutes and I am out of here thougha and then I can go finally enjoy it.

Less than three weeks till the hubby is home. I can't wait!